Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Bad Poets Society

As an homage to all the dreadful poetry that has been written for "The Bachelor/ette" series over the years (think: Ryan and Bridezilla-Trista; think: many of the lovely ladies this season), I have decided to use my brilliant word-smithing capabilities to create a poem for the lovelorn Allie G., the Oncology Doctor who was so pitifully rejected in this season's first episode by the hunky E.R. Doctor-Bachelor, What's-his-Name (who looks frighteningly like a young George W. Bush!).

I will try to rhyme.

The title of the poem is "Get Me To A Nunnery."

I'm here on "The Bachelor in Paris."
I really should be quite embarrass.

I bought a hot gown from "David's Bridal."
My boobs look fantastic, no rivals!

My eggs are so old I need a husband.
I fear I will go off the deep end.


So let's skip the hot tub dates and Eiffel Tower.
And if any girl gets a rose instead of me, I will glower.


In the end, it'll be MOI that you're choosing

'CAUSE I REALLY MUST START REPRODUCING!!!!!!

The End :-)


This will make absolutely no sense to you if you're not watching the stoopid show!




8 Comments:

Blogger Phinney said...

I'm not watching the stoooooopid show. I've had enough of them sorry ass bachelors and the even sorrier chicks. I did watch Idol. For laughs.

re:ality tv is losing appeal for me. ::gasp:: did i just say that?

xo phin

9:37 AM  
Blogger Ann said...

LOL! Can't wait to hear your take on last nights American Idol. Miss you Albert! ~Ann :)

9:52 AM  
Blogger jennifer said...

Nothing worse than old, stale eggs, except pathetic physicians who think a TV show will (re)produce a husband.

LOL

Albert, we really should get together and start a RE:ality TV team blog. We could cover just about every show.

Are you dancing with the stars? Gonna skate with celebrities?

11:06 AM  
Blogger star said...

LOL... I don't watch the show Albert but it still cracks me up. don't quit the day job, hehe.

hugs
star

8:52 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

lol...nice poem
http://journals.aol.com/sugar1337/Disobeyingtherulesofconvention/

9:37 AM  
Blogger mnchickluvsocc/Brandie said...

I do not watch that series but have heard much about "must reproduce now" girl. Great poem!LOL

Love:
Brandie

7:27 AM  
Blogger gigi said...

Brilliant! :D I predict "Get Me To A Nunnery" will become a classic in the tradition of Shakespeare. Or George Carlin.

You have inspired this hommage, which I humbly dedicate to you ~ Ode to The Bachelorette:

The clothes are unwearable,
the conversations unbearable.
The repeated "You're so amazing!"
has my eyes slowly glazing.

What can they be seeing,
these air-headed beings?
I'm sure I don't know
the point of this show.

But I guess I'll stay tuned in
till one of the fools win
one way or another ~
they all deserve each other.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Mrs. L said...

She's an oncologist. Did she forget that she can have her eggs harvested for later? Of cours, that was the least of her problems.

5:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home