Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Bad Poets Society

As an homage to all the dreadful poetry that has been written for "The Bachelor/ette" series over the years (think: Ryan and Bridezilla-Trista; think: many of the lovely ladies this season), I have decided to use my brilliant word-smithing capabilities to create a poem for the lovelorn Allie G., the Oncology Doctor who was so pitifully rejected in this season's first episode by the hunky E.R. Doctor-Bachelor, What's-his-Name (who looks frighteningly like a young George W. Bush!).

I will try to rhyme.

The title of the poem is "Get Me To A Nunnery."

I'm here on "The Bachelor in Paris."
I really should be quite embarrass.

I bought a hot gown from "David's Bridal."
My boobs look fantastic, no rivals!

My eggs are so old I need a husband.
I fear I will go off the deep end.

So let's skip the hot tub dates and Eiffel Tower.
And if any girl gets a rose instead of me, I will glower.

In the end, it'll be MOI that you're choosing


The End :-)

This will make absolutely no sense to you if you're not watching the stoopid show!


Blogger Phinney said...

I'm not watching the stoooooopid show. I've had enough of them sorry ass bachelors and the even sorrier chicks. I did watch Idol. For laughs.

re:ality tv is losing appeal for me. ::gasp:: did i just say that?

xo phin

9:37 AM  
Blogger Ann said...

LOL! Can't wait to hear your take on last nights American Idol. Miss you Albert! ~Ann :)

9:52 AM  
Blogger jennifer said...

Nothing worse than old, stale eggs, except pathetic physicians who think a TV show will (re)produce a husband.


Albert, we really should get together and start a RE:ality TV team blog. We could cover just about every show.

Are you dancing with the stars? Gonna skate with celebrities?

11:06 AM  
Blogger star said...

LOL... I don't watch the show Albert but it still cracks me up. don't quit the day job, hehe.


8:52 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

lol...nice poem

9:37 AM  
Blogger mnchickluvsocc/Brandie said...

I do not watch that series but have heard much about "must reproduce now" girl. Great poem!LOL


7:27 AM  
Blogger gigi said...

Brilliant! :D I predict "Get Me To A Nunnery" will become a classic in the tradition of Shakespeare. Or George Carlin.

You have inspired this hommage, which I humbly dedicate to you ~ Ode to The Bachelorette:

The clothes are unwearable,
the conversations unbearable.
The repeated "You're so amazing!"
has my eyes slowly glazing.

What can they be seeing,
these air-headed beings?
I'm sure I don't know
the point of this show.

But I guess I'll stay tuned in
till one of the fools win
one way or another ~
they all deserve each other.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Mrs. L said...

She's an oncologist. Did she forget that she can have her eggs harvested for later? Of cours, that was the least of her problems.

5:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home