Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A Very Sad Time in J-Land

Pam, his1desire, of Just One Girl's Head Noise, lost her battle with Lung Cancer this past Easter Sunday... I wasn't a regular reader of her journal before her diagnosis, and felt uneasy about keeping up with the progression of her illness after finding out about it... honestly, I think I still have some unresolved grief issues over my Mom's death from Pancreatic Cancer, and I didn't feel that I had it in me to get emotionally invested in Pam's struggles, which frightened me to read about.

I'm sure that if I had already known Pam, I would have felt differently.

But yesterday morning and this morning, I find myself at Pam's journal... reading the comments and her last entries. I am so glad that she had so much love and support in her life. AOL sucks, but its online Journal community is still pretty awesome. The emotional connections that people make there are very strong.

I'm thinking a lot today about life, death, health, sickness and aging...


Blogger IndigoSunMoon said...

She was such a bright shining light. Bless her precious heart.
Love you,

2:21 PM  
Blogger star said...

hey albert,

i understand your hesitation. i've been a reader of her journal for a while and was really upset when i heard she passed, especially since she felt she was doing so well, or at least she let us all believe that.

i'm a cancer survivor myself and i have a few friends and a closer relative who are now battleing the cancer themselves so it really upset me to read about Pam.

It's the cycle of life though, so truthfully, we shouldn't mourn her, but celebrate her life here. Hard, but well worth the effort.


9:47 PM  
Blogger Phinney said...


I'm thinking of those same things.
Health, aging...pretty depressing for the beginning of a beautiful spring season. Mourning the death of my marriage as well. sigh. Time for a new life that I don't feel ready to move on to - - -

Pam was one of the best, and will
be missed by so many of us. Taken too soon. She fought bravely and shared so much. She is the one who first taught me how to put photos in my journal about two years ago! Lovely Pam.

xoxo Phinney Glitter of the week: Heavenly Angel Glow.

7:12 AM  
Blogger Nelle said...

Albert we are all sad right now and missing Pam. The thing is that Pam would have wanted us to remember her in a positive light and I am trying to do that. She was a courageous woman and it blew me away when she posted some of the pics that she did. She wanted the world to know what it's like to have cancer. It's scarey but you do the best you can everyday and you cling to hope as she did. I am grateful to have known her through her journal.

6:49 PM  
Blogger sunflowerkat said...

I'm heartsick that Pam has lost her battle. It was hard for me at first, to accept that this would most likely be the outcome. I'm still deeply feeling the loss of my own sister.

But, I found it helped me to reach out to her. She certainly didn't hesitate to reach out to us.

I've thought a lot about those things too recently. Sometimes, things happen that are tragically out of our control. But living a healthy life is by large part, a choice. I know there are some things I need to modify. Why is it SO hard to do the right thing when it comes to our life and our health? It seems like it should be a no brainer.

I know that Pam would want everyone contemplating those questions....and making the choice to LIVE. She was an amazing woman and a she touched many lives. She will be deeply missed.

7:46 PM  
Blogger hestiahomeschool said...

I have to admit, since my own diagnosis of cancer a few months ago and the surgeries, I had only peeked in every now and then, It seemed too scary to read every day.

But I was so saddened by her death.

8:40 PM  
Blogger Dona said...

What you describe is what I felt, as well. Everything. From being a casual reader of her journal, then learning of her diagnosis last summer and being unable to follow her down the frightening path of cancer. The battle wounds from losing my father to prostate cancer are too fresh in my heart.

4:24 PM  

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